bluegansey: clara oswald looking at the sky in wonder (clara oswald black)

 GOOD THINGS TODAY:

  • Star Wars Cards Against Humanity (with darthvcder on tumblr) which was SUPER FUN
  • Saw Lego Batman Movie again!!!!
  • Read a couple of good fics (Jaytim, Jaydick, another that I won't link bc it wasn't... good (well it was but it almost gave me a panic attack so... no))
  • Posted a new chapter of Lights! Which I forgot to crosspost here. Shit. I'll do that.
NOT SO GOOD THINGS TODAY:
  • My brother told me that he deleted most of the pictures I took in Japan off his phone. Because I didn't ask for them, apparently.
  • I found out that a writer I'd liked actually has some really shitty opinions (including, but not limited to: feminism is pointless, gay marriage is useless & gay people are sinners ("but I still respect them" okay susan), abortion is murder, Trump isn't that bad, Irish slavery was real, trans people don't exist, birth control is morally wrong, Muslims are terrorists, shipping slash is just "insane fangirls who think everything is gay", making characters not straight is DISRESPECTFUL TO THEIR STRAIGHT HISTORY, and more! It... really fucking hurt, because I kinda thought I could trust them, y'know? I just... I didn't expect it.
  • I wanted to go out for wings since I'm not going to be home on another Wednesday night until summer, but nah.
bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 I ACTUALLY GOT WRITING DONE. ON LIGHTS. IT'S BEEN MONTHS. I FINISHED EDITING CHAPTER FIVE AND TOMORROW I'M SENDING IT TO BETA AND AHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm actually feeling The Star Wars Vibe right now, and I actually want to catch up on Rebels and finish this damn story and WHAT IS THIS. GOD. My body is READY. I mean. I'm still feeling awful mentally (for Discourse Reasons) and tired all the time (for No Reason) but still. This is good. Caring about SW is good.

I also... I dunno, man. My mom got back from Seattle, Zoe came over and we talked about discourse and shipping and sexuality and all kinds of fun stuff, and I made brownie batter and also an undercooked egg/pepper/onions/bacon/cheese thing, and facetimed with my dad, and not much else.

bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)
ROLLERCOASTER OF A DAY, LADS. ROLLERCOASTER.

My mom went to Seattle. I went to Anxiety. I added almost fifty new fics to my ficrec page, which took... well, I'm not sure, but several hours, at least. personal tmi shit sorry )
bluegansey: harley quinn with a baseball bat across her shoulders and blowing bubblegum on a brown background (harley quinn brown)
From [community profile] thefridayfive 
 
1) What was your first word?
Shadow. The name of the dog we had when I was a kid. (He lived a good, long life.)
 
2) How old were you?
Apparently less than a year? I just called my dad and asked.
 
3) Who heard you say it?
My mom. My dad was so confused when I called him and asked those two things, good god.
 
4) Did you have trouble pronouncing any words as a kid?
Oh, definitely. I was a HUGE reader so there were a ton of words that I had never heard spoken, just read, and then embarassing mistakes happened. They still happen. The only one I remember specifically is albino (I pronounced it al-BEEN-oh) but there were definitely others.
 
5) Are there any words you consistently mispronounce today?
Uh... yes, they just aren't coming to mind. There are a lot of words that I shorten and/or use weird contractions for, as well, and it ALWAYS gets pointed out if my mom hears me. Not sure if that was the point. Sorry, I'm really tired.
bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)

 Nothing happened today, which is A Problem because school tomorrow and I need to do things. I was going to bake but my mom didn't go the grocery store until 8 at night and then she forgot my ingredients (since I ALSO asked for salad ingredients and it was just too much I guess) and I just. died

Actually today was kind of scary, mental-health wise. I couldn't do... anything. I was lying on my bed refreshing social media bc the idea of reading made my skin crawl and I was just... doing that. I also can't use headphones for some reason?? It just makes me feel twitchy rn so I'm not listening to anything rn. I was listening to this on repeat earlier though. I still need to watch a movie for school. And I haven't washed my hair in a week. And I'm dying but whatever it's cool it's all fine. Oh and my "sort of callout post" (not the actual callout but a post that's apparently... proof of me being an Evil Pedophile Apologist) is getting more notes and someone sent me a message saying that I support children being molested so that was awful and disgusting. And my dad called me to bitch about how people can't incite violence on college campuses and how "free speech" (however he means that) is more important than making sure bigots can't spread their opinions. And I'm just.... tired. I don't want to go to school tomorrow but also if I don't I'll just lay around doing nothing and my brain will be screaming and I'll be dead.

bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 It's been wayyyy to long since I did an entry, whoops. This school week I was on Galiano! I wasn't super looking forward to it, because it was just about forest restoration and we had to sleep in tents, but. Well. The first day, it was snowing. REALLY HARD. So tents were out (though a couple of people slept in them anyway bc??? idk???) and that was okay. And then the forest restoration part was SUPER INTERESTING. The first day we built the borders of our plots (in groups of 4, I was with Mila, Sinead and Conner), the second day we mapped it and marked down the tree information, and the third day we did some calculations and chose which trees and how many trees to Mark For Death (if the conservancy gets money for it). It was really cool to learn about the health of forests and how forests can recover -- or not -- after being clearcut, and yeah. We also got to pull over a tree and it was AMAZING (even if Sinead and Conner did most of the pulling, which Mila shouted encouragement and I helped guide the course of the tree so it didn't get caught in another tree). I learned SO MUCH IT WAS SO GREAT.

The sleeping was... not so great. The first night was the worst night I'd had in a good long while, because my ground mat was TERRIBLE and NOT INFLATED PROPERLY so it hurt to much to sleep on either side. I ended up mostly sleeping on my stomach and my neck got FUCKED UP. And then the fire died in the night so I could see my breath in the air when I woke up for the final time in the morning. Also I hate sleeping bags to it was mostly unzipped (with my feet tucked in at the bottom) and so I was FREEZING in the morning. And then we had no water :) because it FROZE. The second night was... mildly better, since I told all the people sleeping by the fire (I was sleeping in an Indoor Tent) to add wood if they woke up, so it didn't go out, and I put a bunch of my clothes under the pathetic mattress to make it a little more comfortable. It wasn't great, but it could've been worse. Also Keith was talking about comics and I joined in on the conversation and we Bonded over comics. It was nice. Next week he's bringing Death Of The Family (since I haven't read all of it) and I'm bringing Princess Leia so we can swap and read. It's lit.

Other Galiano things... we're going to Pender next week but just for the day to judge a science fair. Probably walking involved. I'm dead. I talked about musical theatre camp with Mila and Sinead and now Mila might go this year :') and I made the Quote Wall FOUR TIMES! They were:

  • [in reference to the cherry trees in our plot] They're all dead. It's these goddamn Douglas Firs.
  • [after laughing at Sinead falling and then falling on my ass not 30 seconds later] That was karma. I can feel it.
  • [while discussing forests in texas] I thought Texas was just deserts and racism. (Mila added "the Bushes" as well so the quote will be attributed to both of us)
  • Also idk if it's going on the wall but I said it and Sinead wrote it down so... maybe?: Forever is just until the earth is swallowed by the sun.

Also Mila and I bonded more on the ferry rides. She told me she's pan, we bonded over Awkward Parents Re: Sexuality And Other Social Justice Things, we exchanged numbers (FINALLY) (also we were texting today) and yeah. It's cool.

Now onto actually today...

Went to the dentist and idk if they FIXED the problem I've been having for weeks but... hopefully? Maybe. On the way there I had a huge fight with my mom about supplements and how I can't take antidepressants because "people kill themselves when they take them" and yeah. That was fun. Then I had choir rehearsal which was fun but Leichelle wasn't there, meaning I was the only Whistler group soprano and I kept fucking up my part and it was super obvious. And then tonight there was a play at the local HS called The Ash Girl and it was really good, though some girls sitting next to me and my mom were talking for most of it (which is really fuckin disrespectful lol). I got a cupcake though so that was good (and also a creme egg from Staples of all places). And tonight I WROTE THINGS -- 13k so far! It's for a Really Bad Pairing (like.... so bad) and coincidentally enough, that same ship tag updated today for the first time since November. It was a fic, which was nice, but it had a pretty weird kink, which was... less than nice, though I read it anyway and it wasn't too bad. Anyway. I'll work on the fic a little more and go to bed.

bluegansey: clarke griffin turned away on a green background (clarke griffin green)

 I think I really am sick, and that's where I've been for the past two days. I'm exhausted. Like, almost-fell-asleep-at-nine-pm-last-night exhausted. I've gotten a fine amount of sleep, so it's not that. And also I can't... breathe properly and it's getting worse. The doctor said it was probably from campfire smoke but I don't think so since... it's getting worse and I'm not near any smoke. I'm going to go to bed soon, hopefully it helps.

In other news... yesterday my [redacted device which makes me a tiny amount of money per month] broke, which is annoying, but I couldn't have brought it to Galiano anyway so it's not that big of a deal. And I also had a mental breakdown yesterday because my dad's friend made a "triggered" joke and I ended up crying and I still feel super emotional. And I didn't even pack until ten at night and it only took fifteen minutes but there was so much yelling and I just. I can't deal with this.

Anyway. I've download the ASOUE books and I'm going to start them while I'm away. And the Oscars sound great, though I wasn't watching -- the Moonlight thing? ICONIC. Truly beautiful. And I'm just gonna go finish reading some fic and go to bed.

bluegansey: padme amidala on a blue background (padme amidala blue)

 I've been feeling kind of melancholy all day, and even though I kind of got some things done -- moved my clothes from my old dresser to my new ones, took down a random newspaper article which has been on my wall for at least six or seven years, made jello, and took a huge chunk out of the process of transferring my ao3 bookmarks -- I still kinda feel. Tired. And lonely. And lost. I sorta realized that while I'm on Saturna I don't really feel like myself, because the two things that I feel define me -- fandom and writing -- are completely inaccessible while I'm there, and it's not a good feeling. It mostly feels empty and alone. And my mom was all "just get a new hobby" but??? I don't know what the hell else I'm supposed to do? I've defined myself as a writer for over a decade, and I'm only sixteen. It's a major part of my identity. I can't just "get a new hobby". And fandom literally saved my life and it's at least 50% of the reason that I keep going. I don't know what to do about it.

Other than that... I went out for wings with my parents because they were going to go out for coffee but I also wanted to get out of the house and they took me out for dinner instead. I'm trying to convince my dad to buy me Cards Against Humanity. And then my dad and I were talking about racism and I ended up explaining asexuality to him, so that was fun. And... not much else I think?

bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 I FEEL KINDA GOOD ABOUT LIFE RIGHT NOW. Like I got a thing done that I should have done weeks ago, I talked to someone (Jayna) for like an hour without totally fucking up, I was stressed about the food thing (it's my food week) but it got resolved, and I have a fic ready to publish! I think I'll do it tomorrow; hiatus is meaningless right? Also I... need to publish something, even if it's not my WIP. It feels so good man, so good.

Other than that, I didn't do much today? Watched The Office with my dad and my brother -- finished season 2 and watched the first ep of season 1 -- and then all of the sudden at like ten at night Leichelle showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to go on a walk with her and Cat. It was nice; she said that one of her goals in life was to get me and Cat to talk more/be friends, and we hugged at the end, so that was good, I guess. My mom is in Portland for some reason and I kinda miss her since I won't see her till I get back from school, but... yeah. I also read a fuckton of fic today (and like... the whole conversation with Jayna was sparked bc she read a fic that I recced on my Bad Ships sideblog and loved it and I got to gush over one of my fav fics, it was so nice) and I'm... slowly clearing out my email, even if it's not complete. Jaytim Week: Valentine's Day Edition happened while I was away, so I have... a lot of fics to read. But it's happening.

Also A Thing happened yesterday and I didn't do an entry then so I figured I might as well now: my dad ran into someone I used to be friends with (and now am not bc she lowkey bullied me and I have anxiety attacks upon seeing her) and convinced me to text her bc apparently her life is going to hell in a handbasket and she needs a friend who isn't caught up in all the Neighbourhood Drama. I didn't know there was even drama, but to be fair, I don't really do anything in this neighbourhood (as demonstrated by the fact that L and Cat were walking at first with these two guys who have lived here for three years and I've never met them) and I wouldn't know about anything like that. Anyway, she texted first and I responded and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I get the Anxiety™ but it's still a little frustrating and sigh. I don't know. I just... should sleep now. Yeah.

bluegansey: leia organa holding blaster and looking determined on a red background (leia organa red)

 I'm so SICK of whining about my life but like. My brain hates me I think.

Since it's Family Day tomorrow (today actually) it's a holiday Monday, so I'm going to school on Monday night and coming back on Thursday. We're also going to Pender during the week and I have to buy some food for that. And also I have to pack a sleeping bag, so that's... nice. I have a better backpack, though -- an actual outdoorsy one that won't kill my back hopefully. On the subject of school, I also did the notes for my essay and started it, but it's... slow going because I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to write about. I'll figure it out. Or not.

Also watched two episodes of Young Justice (Misplaced and Coldhearted) and started Image before I had to go do schoolwork. I've been reminded a lot today of my really severe problem with secondhand embarassment, so there's... that. Image is... not good for that. There's a reason I've never rewatched it despite the hilarious intro. I also read a couple fics I think?? These two EXTREME PAIN Jason and Bruce fics (I almost cried so that's. A lot) and like. A couple others. Man idk. Also a person messaged me on my discourse and I told them my main bc Why The Fuck Not Right? They haven't responded so. Yeah. Also I went for a walk with my mom and the dog and realized that I have a really severe problem with people going near traffic. It sends me into a panic and sometimes there's crying and I just. Can't deal with it. And yeah. I'm just going to sleep now??? I really have a lot to do tomorrow.

bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)

 There are... so many things that I actively need to do but I'm just not. I have to email back Issy and Heather and a few other people, I have an essay to choose a topic for and research and write, and I have to finish my IDS letter, and apparently now I have to figure out how to do "less screen time" whatever the fuck that means. And my room is still a disaster. And I just feel overwhelmed.

mental health stuff )

Uh, moving on. I'm reading this (cool timkon au thing), and also took a detour to reread this (very fucked up batlantern thing) because I was kinda bored and wanted a break from the timkon thing. I also reread these three fics at the naturopath because we had to wait forty minutes. As karma for being five minutes late I guess? And yeah. Idk. My brother was home sick from school, we watched a vine compilation that's like 40 minutes long, my dad brought home pizza for dinner and we watched the first (?) episode of Trailer Park Boys (which I made a joke about, and then hated. figures. I wanted to watch The Office anyway). And I spent a little while just now adding bookmarks to my new AO3 account. And I'm just gonna? Sleep now? I need sleep.

bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)

 holy christ i CANNOT get things done apparently i think my brain is just fried i literally did NOTHING useful today god

i watched young justice. and started rewatching batman vs robin. i did some more edits on a snaibsel week fic and it's basically ready to be posted once i do a few more characterization checks and edits. i read a few fics. i made a bunch of angry posts on my discourse blog. and i also had a conversation with someone (not to be too specific) and she said that she wasn't sure she wanted to message me (for Complex Reasons) but then remembered that i'd reblogged one Very Bad Ship to my sideblog and figured she could trust me, which i found utterly hilarious (i was laughing SO HARD like damn i've never been so glad of reblogging something before) and also rie messaged me about a post and i ended up telling them about what i ship in the batfam and it was cool. i watched some vine compilations and sw video memes with my brother. and DIDN'T get any schoolwork done because i'm a fucking moron apparently

edit: well i just went and wrote 493 words of lights which isn't big but i haven't worked on it in literally two whole months (since DECEMBER FIRST) so it's an achievement. of sorts. i'd keep going but i have a really bad headache and it's not fun

bluegansey: padme amidala on a blue background (padme amidala blue)

 oh god i'm so tired and i have the Worst headache and i have so much i need to do but i'm just gonna make this entry bc there's a few things i want to remember from today

  1. set up new ao3 account, started the process of transferring bookmarks to it
  2. i mentioned the fact that batman has like ten kids during dinner, my mom was shocked, i mentioned robin, she said that "robin is batman's little buddy isn't he?" and then my brother tried to list them. he failed.
  3. Him: Dick... Dick Wayne! No. Dick-*points at me*
  4. Me: Grayson.
  5. Him: And then Tim - Wayne! No, wait-
  6. Me: *lists all of them*
  7. Him: *glaring*
  8. Before all of this, he logged me out of the computer because he thought I was at school. Even though I was here last night. I was in the middle of doing the AO3 bookmarks thing so I wasn't really happy.
  9. Callout discourse is kinda dying down I think? I'm less anxious about it.
  10. Therapy. For the first time in two months. It was okay but now I'm suddenly stressed again
  11. I'm trying to clear out my email so I can look at the schoolwork I need to do but it's so overwhelming even though it's like two assignments I just can't deal with it for some reason
that's all basically i just really need sleep now

bluegansey: (damian wayne blue)
Slightly late and from [community profile] thefridayfive

 because I'm procrastinating on actually Doing Things. Oh well, I'm not going to school yet if I even go this week so I don't have to watch the time and go to bed soon.

How many pets have you had at one time?
Right now, I think -- four. My cat, my dog, and my brother's gerbils. We sorta kinda have one other cat but she kinda... ran away slowly after we got our dog and someone a few blocks away took her in (she's an indoor-outdoor cat, like my other cat). I really miss her sometimes, but we see her every so often and as far as I know she's happy, so I'm okay, I think.

What is the strangest pet you have ever had?
I think my taste in animals is boring, really... I've only personally had a cat and a family dog.

What is the coolest trick you have ever taught a pet?
My dog can do "dance", where she gets up on her back legs and spins in a circle. I don't think I taught her that personally but it's cute.

Real animals: What animal have you always wanted as a pet?
Not counting the ones I've had? I wouldn't mind a rabbit, I really like them. But I think I'd rather have a cat than anything else because purring is so comforting to me -- I have a few memories of sobbing my eyes out while holding a purring cat to my chest to make me feel better and it always helped. (Also one time I was having Heart Issues (aka that one time I went to the ER) and before I actually went there my chest was hurting like a motherfucker and I put my cat on top of it and his purrs made me feel a little better). Also I just?? Love cats??? So much.

Imaginary animals: Describe the ideal pet, an animal that doesn't really exist.
Man, idk. A cat but bigger and purrs more often? A cat that won't try to escape? I mean, my cat goes outside and comes in at his leisure but I never stop being worried he'll get hit by a car, even if he's lived five (six?) years without it happening. Idk man, I'm happy with cats. I love cats.

These are not so great answers but. Yeah. I love cats is all.
bluegansey: leia organa holding blaster and looking determined on a red background (leia organa red)

 I need to sleep, but also like... posterity. I saw Hidden Figures today -- so good, so so good, I LOVED it. There was also a Thing where I was driving with my mom and there was a dog on the side of the road that was about to run onto the road -- the owner was approaching it slowly, and it didn't have a leash, and I Realized, and I sort of freaked out. The dog was fine -- the owner got to it and grabbed its collar as we passed them, but it was so terrifying. My mom says I got really pale and my heart didn't stop hammering for like ten minutes and I couldn't stop shaking and I almost cried. Something similar happened to me on Christmas day -- my dog ran into traffic and it was like a fucking miracle of God that she didn't get hit by a car (i'm agnostic but that almost made me believe) and one time a few months ago my mom hit a rabbit while we were driving and it was kinda similar to today's thing -- hesitating by the side of the road and then jumping in at the last second. That's what I was afraid of. And it didn't happen but yeah.

In other news, America is rapidly becoming a dystopia and I am so. Fucking. Terrified and highkey want to die. I ended up writing out my feelings with some original work and that was... something. It was really disturbing actually but if I'm writing I'm not doing it so that's. Good. Anyway I'm Tired and I should probably like. Sleep.

busy busy

Jan. 23rd, 2017 03:02 pm
bluegansey: padme amidala on a blue background (padme amidala blue)
It’s almost one and I am… not tired in the slightest. Not sure why. Shit kinda got real today with the school thing. My mom was going over the packing list and while I found it kinda hilarious that a knife is part of the required materials (my dad dug out this knife of my brother’s that I used to play with all the time and I’m doing that again. It’s so fun to flip open and shut) I sorta started to realize that oh fuck, this is happening. In a week. Ohgodohgodohgod. It’s mildly terrifying.

Because of this of course I was stressed as hell all day and I ended up baking Christmas crack again and almost had a breakdown because I couldn’t get the sugar and butter to mix properly. And I managed to convince my mom to buy me gum despite having a complete ban on chew it — I just. Needed it so badly because I need to chew something and right now it’s the skin around my nails and it fucking hurts a lot. I miss gum so much. I want to find some sort of fidget toy to fill the void, but I’m not really hopeful. Also the grocery store didn’t have pomegranates but I managed to get bread. And underripe mangoes.

 

THIS GOT LONG )
bluegansey: clara oswald looking at the sky in wonder (clara oswald black)

 I keep missing days. Uh. Depressive episode? I don't even know anymore. It's cool. It's fine.

But today something actually happened! I went to the Women's March in Vancouver with Leichelle. It was really cool, actually, and I got pictures (links to the other posts at the bottom). I've never been to anything like that before and it was really nice. Afterwards Leichelle and I got lunch and ice cream at the mall. I also was reading and idk if it's unproblematic so I can't link it but. It's a good fic. And another fic that I definitely can't link which is about a trope I hate but the idea sounded too interesting to pass up and yeah, I have to admit it was actually pretty good.

My parents' friends Janna and Didier (?) (still don't know how to spell his name because it's French) also ended up coming over -- they both live in the interior and Janna can't drive anymore so she sometimes drives down with him. And they (including my parents) are currently sitting in the living room and yelling at me to go to bed every couple of minutes.. It's... not going to work. It's not. I... also had a bubble bath (I haven't had one in years and idk why not it's so fun) and redid the theme on my Problematic ship blog (and because I don't know when to stop I also made a tags page and changed the icon/mobile theme) and yeah. Okay. I've hardly slept for two days so I should go to bed.

 

bluegansey: (damian wayne blue)

Every time I think I’m actually going to work on my WIP, I get thrown off by something. Now it’s “so am I completely bastardizing canon with these trippy Force mind links” and I need to work on it when I’m not tired. Also I have so many things I need to rewatch for research? Rebels episodes — Call To Action (or whichever one ends with Kanan being captured, I don’t remember for sure) for action scene reference and A Princess On Lothal for era-appropriate Leia reference — and like. Possibly a few TCW episodes with Padme and Obi-Wan and Luminara and Ahsoka because I haven’t watched it in while and I need to remember their voices and also check their characterization. Really this is all because someone messaged me to continue the story. Which, I mean, it’s nice and all, but what would have been slightly nicer is if one person left a comment on the last chapter? There was one comment, but it wasn’t a real comment, and — ugh. It just Feels Bad. Like, if you want a story to update, maybe… I don’t know… make the author think you care if it updates? Because I was sort of thinking no one cared and I sorta still do even though I have concrete evidence otherwise.

Uh, anyway. I went to the naturopath again today and… yeah. I don’t know. She suggested hypnotheraphy and like, at this point, if it’ll help with my anxiety, I’ll try it. My mom also had a dentist’s appointment in the area so after we got pizza for lunch we went there and I waited (and there was a baby there. It was adorable) and after while she was paying the receptionist complimented my hair, which was nice. And then we went to the States and I had a minor breakdown about not being able to eat gum anymore. I am so close to ignoring the fact that I’m being slowly poisoned by aspartame and just. Buying more gum and chewing the whole pack before I get home. But that would be a really bad idea because I’d just crave it more. And… yeah. Also Shannon was there and he had a really nice shirt with horses on it. It was cool.

And then my back was killing me so I ended up just lying in bed with a heating pad and rereading a bunch of fics. I was sort of in a Batlantern phase (with these two) but I sorta just read whatever I could find in my bookmarks that looked fun to reread. And just before I did this entry I finished a reread of a fic that I started in October and finished adding notes. I think I got fairly creative with insults — like, I’m realizing that 90% of my internal dialogue is insults that I don’t mean and would never say to an actual person but this gives me an outlet and damn if it isn’t nice as hell. I feel so Good and I probably shouldn’t but still, it’s fun to get creative with insults. (The main reason I was adding insults is because it's about something Obviously Bad in real life and even if I enjoy reading it I still want to drag the main character because. Damn. That's so horrible.) And also because this is getting long: had a “family meeting” which dissolved into so much giggling and also I kept asking for a new kitten because my brother’s friend has a pregnant cat and damn I want a kitten. I know I already have a cat but more than one cat is better than one cat in pretty much every circumstance. Seriously.

bluegansey: clarke griffin turned away on a green background (clarke griffin green)

So I saw Moana today! It was so good, damn. I LOVED THE SONGS. I need to buy the soundtrack. It was also POURING RAIN all day, and it’s been so long since it’s rained this hard. I kinda missed it. Even when I was standing in the rain waiting for my dad to pick me up at the bus station. My house is like three minutes away from there by car and it took him TWENTY MINUTES and he said it was traffic. There was no traffic in the pouring rain at seven at night. There really was not. We watched more of The Office when we got home. I… hate Michael. A lot. Like, there are some characters who are The Worst in an endearing way, and there are some characters who are The Worst and you never want to hear about their existence ever. Michael is in the second category. (I'm aware that this is probably a really harsh view to have, but when I hate characters... generally speaking, I really hate them. And I don't hate characters very often at all.)

I also read Various Fics that I can’t really link but Oh Well. I mean, there was this Jaytim one which I found by accident but it was so excellent that I’m just really glad. I’m also slowly making my way through another unlinkable fic. Fun times. And tonight I went through some of my old writing and damn. I found this AU concept for one of my original novels that I wrote… I don’t know when because the file is a copy and there’s literally no way it was only a year ago. It’s 8k of boarding school AU stuff. Featuring secret crushes and sexuality crises and a really sweet love confession. And also dying friends but I skipped over that subplot because I wanted to write New Year’s kisses. That story was the first time I’d ever written a love confession, actually, and I remember feeling So Good after I first wrote it. It’s still lovely. I went through some other older writing as well and some of it is Cringe but some of it is Relatively Good. And that’s good.

Not much else really? Yeah. Though I'm thinking I might possibly start locking my diary entries to just me and then only make public entries if it's something that literally anyone else might be interested in... I'm well aware that there's nothing terribly interesting about my life and especially not on a day-to-day basis. So I'm Considering.

bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)
 Sort of a blurry day. Uh. Not great. I'm reading a longfic that I can't link but it's pretty good... I finished rereading this Jayroy fic... read a few other fics I can't link... and I'm going to reread another fic later tonight. Internet is being kinda glitchy so I'm on my mom's laptop again. I made a ramble-y post about my current School Issues and that's... a thing. I watched like five episodes of The Office with my dad. And my dad put mushrooms in the chili I was making for dinner and since I can't go near mushrooms with feeling like I'm going to throw up, I went to the mall for dinner. I was planning on walking because I didn't want to make my dad upset but my mom made me ask him for a ride and he yelled at me and then offered a ride freely after I explained that I wasn't just being a bitch, I legit couldn't eat it without feeling like I was going to throw up. So that was fine. Idk. Also I'm barely hungry at all at this point and it's mildly worrying.

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bluegansey: wonder woman with a hood over her head holding her lasso (Default)
Nicola

July 2017

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