bluegansey: clara oswald looking at the sky in wonder (clara oswald black)

 GOOD THINGS TODAY:

  • Star Wars Cards Against Humanity (with darthvcder on tumblr) which was SUPER FUN
  • Saw Lego Batman Movie again!!!!
  • Read a couple of good fics (Jaytim, Jaydick, another that I won't link bc it wasn't... good (well it was but it almost gave me a panic attack so... no))
  • Posted a new chapter of Lights! Which I forgot to crosspost here. Shit. I'll do that.
NOT SO GOOD THINGS TODAY:
  • My brother told me that he deleted most of the pictures I took in Japan off his phone. Because I didn't ask for them, apparently.
  • I found out that a writer I'd liked actually has some really shitty opinions (including, but not limited to: feminism is pointless, gay marriage is useless & gay people are sinners ("but I still respect them" okay susan), abortion is murder, Trump isn't that bad, Irish slavery was real, trans people don't exist, birth control is morally wrong, Muslims are terrorists, shipping slash is just "insane fangirls who think everything is gay", making characters not straight is DISRESPECTFUL TO THEIR STRAIGHT HISTORY, and more! It... really fucking hurt, because I kinda thought I could trust them, y'know? I just... I didn't expect it.
  • I wanted to go out for wings since I'm not going to be home on another Wednesday night until summer, but nah.
bluegansey: leia organa holding blaster and looking determined on a red background (leia organa red)

 Well, things happened today. Significant things. Basically I got a "callout" for pointing out that mentally ill people cannot control intrusive thoughts and also that shipping is fine. So I'm now officially a Pedophile Apologist™ and I got my first anon hate. It was pretty basic, just "you're disgusting", but still. I was laughing about it mostly but now I'm kind of... upset... and I feel like I'm gonna break down as soon as I go to bed. So that's fun. I was talking to Rie and Sasha about it a bit but... it helped and then it was over and so it wasn't helping. And I kinda just need to cry, probably, because god, I'm so tired.

Other things, just quickly -- I finished formatting this fic on Sigil and now it's an epub! I'm so glad that non-ao3/ffn fics can now go on my kobo. A bit of effort, sure, but it can still happen. I read over the Bad Thing I wrote last night and it's lowkey terrible but whatever. Janna was here, we went to Costco for food, it was good. And my brother and I are trying to convince my mom that adopting a cat (his friend's cat had kittens) would be in our best interests.

ETA: I also wrote 370 words of a Bad Ship concept. it's bad. i don't care.
bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 I FEEL KINDA GOOD ABOUT LIFE RIGHT NOW. Like I got a thing done that I should have done weeks ago, I talked to someone (Jayna) for like an hour without totally fucking up, I was stressed about the food thing (it's my food week) but it got resolved, and I have a fic ready to publish! I think I'll do it tomorrow; hiatus is meaningless right? Also I... need to publish something, even if it's not my WIP. It feels so good man, so good.

Other than that, I didn't do much today? Watched The Office with my dad and my brother -- finished season 2 and watched the first ep of season 1 -- and then all of the sudden at like ten at night Leichelle showed up at my door and asked if I wanted to go on a walk with her and Cat. It was nice; she said that one of her goals in life was to get me and Cat to talk more/be friends, and we hugged at the end, so that was good, I guess. My mom is in Portland for some reason and I kinda miss her since I won't see her till I get back from school, but... yeah. I also read a fuckton of fic today (and like... the whole conversation with Jayna was sparked bc she read a fic that I recced on my Bad Ships sideblog and loved it and I got to gush over one of my fav fics, it was so nice) and I'm... slowly clearing out my email, even if it's not complete. Jaytim Week: Valentine's Day Edition happened while I was away, so I have... a lot of fics to read. But it's happening.

Also A Thing happened yesterday and I didn't do an entry then so I figured I might as well now: my dad ran into someone I used to be friends with (and now am not bc she lowkey bullied me and I have anxiety attacks upon seeing her) and convinced me to text her bc apparently her life is going to hell in a handbasket and she needs a friend who isn't caught up in all the Neighbourhood Drama. I didn't know there was even drama, but to be fair, I don't really do anything in this neighbourhood (as demonstrated by the fact that L and Cat were walking at first with these two guys who have lived here for three years and I've never met them) and I wouldn't know about anything like that. Anyway, she texted first and I responded and she hasn't gotten back to me yet. I get the Anxiety™ but it's still a little frustrating and sigh. I don't know. I just... should sleep now. Yeah.

bluegansey: clara oswald looking at the sky in wonder (clara oswald black)

 I just... can't really deal with anything right now. I have schoolwork due tomorrow at 5 and I'm going to be out all day and I just started it today. I still have a full essay to do. Tomorrow there's a gap in the middle of the day where I have nothing to do so I can work on it then but idk if I'll be able to finish it and I just. Don't know anymore. Right now fic is literally the only thing I can deal with.

I read a bunch of fic, I Stressed, I listened to a podcast in the bath (and was supposed to write something about it after, whoops, guess not) and I???? Didn't do anything else? I mean I was on tumblr a lot and did a few ask games (including this one. and Kyla messaged me to ask what the redacted ships were and I told her and we talked for a few minutes about this one housewife au series that we're both reading. it was cool) And... yeah not much else??? I also took my dog for a walk (in the SNOW) and fell on ice (into the SNOW). And yeah, it was snowing! I got a video.

I should... probably go to bed since it's not that late but I have to be up and I got so little sleep last night. (also just for fun my icon is from an episode of Doctor Who called The Snowmen. It's about snowmen and snow. I'm so clever (not really))

bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)

 holy christ i CANNOT get things done apparently i think my brain is just fried i literally did NOTHING useful today god

i watched young justice. and started rewatching batman vs robin. i did some more edits on a snaibsel week fic and it's basically ready to be posted once i do a few more characterization checks and edits. i read a few fics. i made a bunch of angry posts on my discourse blog. and i also had a conversation with someone (not to be too specific) and she said that she wasn't sure she wanted to message me (for Complex Reasons) but then remembered that i'd reblogged one Very Bad Ship to my sideblog and figured she could trust me, which i found utterly hilarious (i was laughing SO HARD like damn i've never been so glad of reblogging something before) and also rie messaged me about a post and i ended up telling them about what i ship in the batfam and it was cool. i watched some vine compilations and sw video memes with my brother. and DIDN'T get any schoolwork done because i'm a fucking moron apparently

edit: well i just went and wrote 493 words of lights which isn't big but i haven't worked on it in literally two whole months (since DECEMBER FIRST) so it's an achievement. of sorts. i'd keep going but i have a really bad headache and it's not fun

bluegansey: isabelle lightwood on a starry blue background (isabelle lightwood blue)

 I was almost not going to make an entry today because 80% of my day was something I don't want to discuss publicly (a lifestyle forum thing) but I actually wrote today!!! After... so goddamn long. 1.2k, finishing up a story for Snaibsel week (which was at the end of October *ugly laughter* hey at least now it can double for Femslash February). It's for day 6 (magic) and it's... not much related to the prompt, but it's a pretty open prompt? So I'm not that worried. It's really angsty, though, and deals a lot with Wally's death. So there's that. But I'm pretty proud of it I think?

cut for length, discourse, and Personal )

Minor good things? Other than writing. This happened. And this -- well the second one happened first actually but oh well. And yeah? I'm also rereading this because the other thing I was reading was getting explicit and I didn't want to read it in public.

busy busy

Jan. 23rd, 2017 03:02 pm
bluegansey: padme amidala on a blue background (padme amidala blue)
It’s almost one and I am… not tired in the slightest. Not sure why. Shit kinda got real today with the school thing. My mom was going over the packing list and while I found it kinda hilarious that a knife is part of the required materials (my dad dug out this knife of my brother’s that I used to play with all the time and I’m doing that again. It’s so fun to flip open and shut) I sorta started to realize that oh fuck, this is happening. In a week. Ohgodohgodohgod. It’s mildly terrifying.

Because of this of course I was stressed as hell all day and I ended up baking Christmas crack again and almost had a breakdown because I couldn’t get the sugar and butter to mix properly. And I managed to convince my mom to buy me gum despite having a complete ban on chew it — I just. Needed it so badly because I need to chew something and right now it’s the skin around my nails and it fucking hurts a lot. I miss gum so much. I want to find some sort of fidget toy to fill the void, but I’m not really hopeful. Also the grocery store didn’t have pomegranates but I managed to get bread. And underripe mangoes.

 

THIS GOT LONG )
bluegansey: harley quinn with a baseball bat across her shoulders and blowing bubblegum on a brown background (harley quinn brown)

 I'm not entirely sure about anything today. I feel kinda vaguely tired and unfocused and like I have so much to do but I just... can't. I spent most of the day eating candy because the idea of eating real food made me feel sick (and then when I told my mom she told me it was all in my head. thanks mom) and two whole apples and like half a pomegranate -- I'm still working on it. I read some fic; an unlinkable one, and this amazing Young Justice fic. Seriously, it was so great. And... yeah. Not much else? I started reading another fic and then completely noped out when it used butter as lube (for the LOVE of GOD) and downloaded a bunch onto my kobo so I can read them later.

Okay, major thing: I RAN OUT OF SONGS ON SHUFFLE. For a lot of reasons, this happens... so rarely. It's been over a year, I think -- I think it was November of 2015 last time I shuffled my main playlist. And I usually listen to music by getting to a song, and adding a bunch of songs to play next that are visible from where that song is (idk how to explain it) but now I'm just. Shuffling. And letting it play. It's freeing, almost. And the first song that played this time was American by Lana Del Rey, for reference.

I also made the really difficult decision of stopping something that I've been doing for over a year -- writing down the numbers for tumblr. At the beginning of each day, I write out the number of posts (well, in the hundreds, not the thousands, unless I hit a new thousand) so I can tell how much I posted each day. And the number of posts in my queue, although at this point I only use a queue on one of my blogs. And I realize that I need to not do it anymore, because it's not a good or healthy routine. For several reasons. And christ, the anxiety is hitting me, but... I'll live. I think. I'll be okay.

I did some other things as well -- three different tagging games. And this happened. And... this, which was less than fun. And I had a bath. And I wanted to watch a movie -- Justice League vs Teen Titans, which I haven't seen -- but I couldn't. And idk man. I'm just gonna go to bed.


bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)

 Uh, I think I spent literally the whole day in a state of extreme anxiety, so that's.... fun. People kept coming in and out of the kitchen where the computer is, and even before that I spent two hours lying in bed trying to feel like I could potentially get up. And I sort of ended up lying in bed with earbuds in blasting music so I couldn't hear the vacuum, because the sound makes my anxiety skyrocket, so. That was also fun.

Actual party tonight, which I almost didn't go to because. Anxiety. But it was fine, overall, I sort of hung out with Leichelle and we watched The Force Awakens -- some of it, at least, and partially with my dad. And now I'm home and my dad wants the computer, so just quickly -- I sorted out my reading log from this year, and don't quote me on this but I think I read 159 books total? Not... entirely sure if I'm remember correctly, but yeah. I think I'll make an entry about it once I sort it out in a word doc instead of just the excel file. Also I went deep into a Sinful ship tag (well, deep as in "literally the whole thing, it's hardly there, why -- right that's why") and then Someone got me into Jayroman, goddamnit, I wasn't planning on this but whatever. Oh and before that I made three posts about my mental health bc it's Bad atm. Anyway. My dad needs the computer.

bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)

 Actually writing this on time and earlier than usually, because Scrivener (where I usually do entries) keeps crashing and I need to restart my computer to see if that'll fix it. So my mom gave me Permission to write this now and then log out, watching a movie on the TV after. Or part of a movie -- we're all going to see Rogue One tomorrow, in the early afternoon, so I shouldn't stay up overly late.

I had a pretty decent day tbh? I tried to get through my backlog of emails (still from when I goddamn went offline for five days in the beginning of the month, jesus christ) and then planned to take transit to the mall for lunch, but my mom had to go there anyway (to exchange my christmas gift -- a hat, it didn't fit, how could a hat not fit? -- and to return something to Old Navy) so she drove me and we also got a gift for a Secret Santa exchange for the last day of the panto. It's not really a Secret Santa -- it's where you put in a gift and everyone takes one and you can steal other people's -- and I got a pretty pen with a constellation on it and a chocolate bar, both from Indigo. I got Greek for dinner and my mom got teriyaki chicken. And then she took me out for ice cream and asked me about the cuts she saw on my arm. I'm glad she did but it was pretty painful to talk about. Anyway I got cheesecake ice cream with Skor pieces and M&Ms.

After that I cut up and started eating a whole pomegranate -- well, two, I started one and it was bad so I threw it out and used the other one -- and ordered the Love Is Love DC Anthology from Amazon. Plus Princess Leia and Kanan: The Last Padawan so I could get free shipping... I spent $50 on comics and I don't regret a single thing. I could not find a decent comic shop anywhere near me, so that was irritating. Then as I was about to do this Tumblr Thingy, my dad came in and told me to get off the computer -- or, well, here's what happened. I'm still both confused and annoyed. Anyway. Also, uh, I think someone I'm mutuals with is vagueing about me and trying to build up the courage to talk to me. Like, I don't want to be self-centred, but I'm about 90% sure they're talking about me because they made two posts yesterday, one of which directly quoted something I'd said in tags earlier, and then today they said something about being nervous trying to message someone and said "#@********* this is about you" and... that's the same number of stars as letters in my URL. So I don't know. I kinda want to message them and say they shouldn't be nervous but also like... if they're not talking about me I could be making an idiot of myself. So idk. I'll see.

bluegansey: leia organa holding blaster and looking determined on a red background (leia organa red)

Today was basically flip-flopping between sadness and inescapable anxiety. Hearing about Carrie Fisher’s death was really painful, because she’s become an icon to me in the last year, and this was so soon after what seemed like a near-miss — they said she was in stable condition, so it seemed like she was the one to defy this hell year. Except, no. 2016 can fuck right off. And 2017 has the potential to be much, much worse with President Trump. I’m not goddamn ready.

On… other things… I woke up this morning to two messages regarding my sideblog — well, sort of, one was “is [redacted] your sideblog” from tumblr user sionis, and the other was “omg you found my problematic ships sideblog” from tumblr user finndamerons (prev. benafflecksgf). I spent most of the day procrastinating messaging back, and when I finally did there was a bit of talking! Which is Good. Also, random side note, but both of them used my first name in their initial messages. It was weird, I’m never used to people saying or writing my name. Sometimes I forget my own name, too… anyway. I recced a fic series that made me BELIEVE IN LOVE to sionis, and finndamerons and I just sorta talked. And it was good.

tw: self harm mention )

Also just now wrote 1,942 words of a Bad Ship soulmate concept that I mentioned a while ago. It only has one scene left, I think, but I’m not going to write it now, I need to sleep since my mom already got up once and I don’t want to see another parent right now.

bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 This is the fourth day in a row or something where I've been out in the evening or day, and today it was both -- panto rehearsal (at the actual theatre now!) from one to almost five, and Philosopher's Cafe in the evening. I spent most of the panto rehearsal reading -- I finished my reread of this Superbat fic (ahh I still love it so much) and then I browsed my bookmarks to look for SFW fics to read on my phone, because someone leaned over my shoulder and said "good book?" during possibly the only mildly explicit scene in the entire fic. I don't know if they saw the actual story, but like... it was scary. So I managed to get through like six pages of bookmarks, and I came to realize just how many damn explicit fics I read. Like... DC is Something Else, I never expected this. I think the combination of having tons of quality fic and also not feeling sex repulsed for a long while (it's been so long... I don't even remember ever being sex repulsed but like that's just my shitty memory) and yeah. I don't know how I feel about it, who knows.

Philosopher's Cafe was good as well! There was a new person there, named Jason -- he doesn't live at the Point but has a vacation house there and yeah. He was pretty cool, I guess. There wasn't really a set theme for our discussion, so we talked about the weather, skiing, and like... various things? Don't really remember most of it. Zoe was there and we talked for a while after and it was good. And then I came home, basically -- after going to the grocery store and getting wine (my mom), mint m&ms (my mom), whoppers (me since they're not in Canada but I didn't want them atm and haven't had any yet. my brother tried to take some and made the excuse that they were for his gerbils... he should not be allowed to parent) and a blueberry Tillamook yogurt cup (me, because I fucking love tillamook and they don't have it in Canada). Also weird thing: when we were crossing the border, we saw a bunch of border cops standing in the middle of the road in front of the way back to Canada and holding flashlights? Like??? I don't even know why. I'm confused. They were gone later though.

DISCOURSE! Of course. Someone made a condescending essay post (I mentioned it already I think) and I responded to it... because I'm a dumbass... and they didn't care, obviously, and someone else who responded to it replied to an earlier post I made about whether I should fight them or not. And they were really nice about it, and it turns out that the other person has a long history of suicide baiting and being a generally awful person. And yeah, I sorta had a fuckton of anxiety for a while, but this person helped me feel a bit better. Also someone else who I followed already/have talked to before (though they don't know I'm the same person as my sideblogs... ahhh shit I need to tell them but also how) responded as well and I just feel??? Better now??? It's nice. I guess. Anyway it's 2:40 and I am GOING TO BED. And wow, I made a lot tags on this... today was busier than I thought... oh I also watched an episode of The Office with my mom and brother, though my mom left halfway through to pick up my dad. It was the one with a fire and Michael sexually harassing the temp guy. It was okay. Okay I'm legit gonna sleep now my hands are shaking almost too much to type

bluegansey: isabelle lightwood on a starry blue background (isabelle lightwood blue)

Uh, well, today was a thing that happened. I went to a new naturopath, and I don’t even know if I actually believe in naturopathy, but whatever! Apparently I might have mono. Or something. Since August. And that’s why I’m listless and tired all the time. Also severely low iron levels. And apparently I have to be on the computer less often, which I knew already. Overall it was… okay, and my mom took me to Dairy Queen afterwards and I got a burger (which was Bad) and a salted caramel something blizzard (which was Good).

I read two long Jaytim fics today — Canticulum and The Untitled JayTim Project. They were both pretty good, in different ways — I didn’t like the ending of TUJTP, but that’s just my weird hangup about endings with a long period of time passing. I read a few other fics, as well, just shorter ones basically.

Also talked to someone on tumblr! Tumblr user benafflecksgf. I’ve been following them for a while… like, a year… and we’ve passively been mutuals for a little while, but she messaged me out of nowhere to say that I was cool (which was SUPER flattering, actually) a couple of days ago, and I messaged back yesterday and she was offline, so I responded to her response today and she was online so we talked for a while about how toxic fandom can be and also Spite Shipping. It was fun. And really nice. And just now I wrote just under 500 words for [redacted pairing]; it’s a fic I’ve worked on before, but it sort of fizzled for a while because I didn’t know where it was going. I think I’ve figured out a little more? Still not sure if I’ll publish it, but eh. I’ll figure it out.

ANXIETY

Nov. 7th, 2016 11:48 am
bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)
If I were responsible, I would be writing, but I kind of feel uninspired and vaguely stressed and all I want to do is have a shower and fall into bed. I’m not even tired, I just don’t want to deal with This anymore. What is This, you ask? It’s everything. I don’t want to deal with anything right now at all. I wrote 300 words of the Snaibsel week day 7 (free day — theatre crew AU) fic, and that’s it.

I’ve been in a constant state of anxiety all day. So I have this theatre crew thing I do, for a Christmas play that happens near where I live, and today I was supposed to go to a rehearsal so I could watch and get an idea of the plot and such. But the email didn’t confirm where it was. My mom knew, but that wasn’t enough because I needed to see with my own eyes where it was supposed to be, and I had an anxiety freakout. I fucking hate those. Because I yell and get mad and cry. And then my dad told me that I’m making his life difficult and I fucking SNAPPED because MY ANXIETY DISORDER IS NOT ABOUT YOU AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I AM AWARE OF HOW IT CAN AFFECT PEOPLE. I ended up going after my mom bribed me with Starbucks, but I only stayed for a little over an hour. By the time I left I was feeling better, but I’d asked my mom to lie and say that I had somewhere to be, so. It was… fine. I just. Don’t want to think about it.
 
More anxiety sorta later, when a tumblr user messaged me on my discourse and asked if I’d made the Bad Ships blog I’d mentioned. And then they asked what my main was and like an idiot I told them, and awkwardly realized that oOPS they follow me already and I’d forgotten. But they sent me some Nice Fanart and it was cool. But I was trembling with anxiety the whole time. I think it’s an exhaustion and anxiety thing, since it happens when I’m either really tired or talking to someone online. The two often overlap, so I’d just thought it was a tiredness thing.
 
I read a lot of fic — got through the pileup in my inbox — and it was Good. I’m about to reread this fic — the trans!Stephanie Brown one that’s so good and gives me warm and fuzzy feelings. I started it earlier, and I’m Excited For More. Other things, just quickly: I made a meatball casserole for dinner, my mom and I got mad at my dad for defending Trump (and he said that he wasn’t and my mom was like “that’s literally exactly what you’re doing”) and it was good. Also I went into a ship tag and the first thing there was “i hope anyone who ships this dies” so like… that wasn’t fun.
bluegansey: clarke griffin turned away on a green background (clarke griffin green)
 DO I EVEN KNOW WHAT LIFE IS. Sigh, idk. I’m sick, I think. At least the left half of my face is. My left eye is watering and my left nostril is running, and the right side is fine. I’m guessing it’s going to get worse eventually. God, getting sick is absolutely no fun when you have no school to skip.

Zoe came over and it was Fun. We talked about Things. It was Cool. I convinced her to try reblogging some “which OC would” since she’s also working on a novel and I saw some of the ones she did and it was Cool since now I know some of her character’s names. We sorta talked about… HTGAWM… and shipping… and writing… and femslash… and fics… and Watchmen… and stuff. I don’t remember all of it because I’m sick and really tired.

Okay, uh. Made cookies. Read this TRC OT5 fic and it was Good. Reread a bunch of fics on my phone — there are some that I just keep coming back to, and I feel the need to add more comments on them. I will eventually. Had ordered pizza for dinner. Brother spent the entire evening Not Doing Homework in the same room as me and it was stressful. Also did a bunch of Buzzfeed quizzes with my brother and ended up seeing a sexy Harambe costume, which I could have lived my whole life without seeing, honestly. Read through a fic — a reread, a Bad Pairing that I can’t mention. But I was reading it in ebooks and I went sorta crazy with the notes feature. I added a pumpkin emoji after and a note with the date of this read through. A lot of my notes are basically dragging the story, which is fair, because while it’s really good it’s also really… bad, in a moral sense. So I screamed in the margins and kept reading.

I also wrote a… essay, basically, about my Issues with sex. Tumblr user poefinn messaged me after to say that they hadn’t read the whole thing yet, but that they had a similar issue with romance, and asked if I wanted to talk about it. I said yes, but I’m also worried that our issues aren’t that similar because the beginning of my essay-ish thing isn’t… quite indicative of the rest. I mean, somewhat, but idk. It’s really long, basically, and kind of a ramble about my issues that I’m frustrated about.

I also had a talk with my mom about my issues with washing my hands — that I feel like I have to do it three times or so to be completely clean. It’s sort of a new issues and it’s really stressful but I’m going to try and work on it. Also my dad was sort of hugging me while I was at the computer and I guess (I had headphones on) my mom said something to him about my issues with being hugged and he was like “should I ask” and I was like “yeah” and that was okay but kinda awkward. And holy fuck, I have so many issues and this barely scrapes the surface of them… I didn’t even have the slightest of religious issues today.

bluegansey: harley quinn with a baseball bat across her shoulders and blowing bubblegum on a brown background (harley quinn brown)
 I honestly don’t know what I did today, it feels like a blur. My copy of Ahsoka finally got to the bookstore, so I picked it up (and got some bread and a pumpkin scone at the bakery) and started reading it. I really like it so far, I love my wife Ahsoka. I love her. And my fic definitely contradicts it, whoops. I sorta… forgot about the Mandalore stuff. I didn’t know about it when I wrote the chapter, but I learned about it before editing, so like… yeah. Idk how I’d have made it work, though, so maybe this is for the best.

Also made dinner, watched more of Watchmen (I’m two hours and eighteen minutes in now. Still well over an hour left) and read a bit of fic, I guess? There’s this one trope for this one pairing that I really wanted to read (I’d rather not say either) and I’d looked before with little success — which is like, a crime, honestly, because this pairing was MADE for this trope — and had sorta given up, but today I got an AO3 email from an account I’d subscribed to with the EXACT trope I was looking for! And last I heard, the person (I also follow them on tumblr) didn’t even ship that pairing romantically. I was really happy with that. I also went into the Watchmen — All Media Types AO3 tag and just browsed. Read a couple of Dan/Rorschach fics because I guess that’s the only pairing in Watchmen I really ship? I mean, I guess I sorta ship Dan/Laurie as well, but yeah. Idk. They were good, I’ll probably look for more Watchmen fics soon.

And I actually? Talked to people on tumblr? Talked to Rie about shipping discourse, and admitted which pairings I’ve been reading lately that I Didn’t Want To Admit To Liking (they’re the first person I’ve told about liking these pairings, even indirectly, I’ve been pretty careful not to use public bookmarks on AO3 or mention them on twitter) and yeah. And then someone I follow — tumblr user poefinn — who didn’t follow me, saw that on a post I’d reblogged from them I said that I hated the ocean, and then they followed me and messaged me with “hey want to talk about how scary and terrible the ocean is” and I was like “YEAH” and that was a 30-minute conversation. It was surprisingly fun! And I sort of got an adrenaline rush from briefly talking to two people at once. It was… so much.

Anyway. Also read issues 16-19 of Birds of Prey, but then it was all “this storyline picks up in Nightwing 45” and well, I can’t read that offline since I don’t HAVE it, so. I really liked what I did read, though — I really love Tim and Babs’ interactions. Also Dinahbabs is #real and I love it.

And I just wrote 700 words or so of Snaibsel fic? It’s for Snaibsel week — the prompt being Hurt/Comfort — and I think it counts as finished, actually. Except I’m actually not 100% on the definition of H/C? So idk if it’s the right trope. WHO KNOWS. It’s cute and fluffy. I also still need to finish the Hunter/Witch AU, but that one’s doing pretty well so far. And I also wrote 200 words of the soulmate AU that I also need to finish, which is going along… decently. I have some rewatching to do if I want to do this right, though. Also I wish I'd decided to go with classic soulmate AU tropes instead of fucking flowers, but at this point I'm sticking with it.

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Nicola

July 2017

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