I guess I'm just avoiding looking at Firefox (since I keep all my school stuff there for Ease of Access) and pretending that nothing is happening? I probably need to meet with my teacher if I'm going to be doing this class, but I have literally no energy left to even try. I want to. I just. Can't. Everything is hard at this point. I have a very poor memory, but I can't remember the last time my depression took so much of my energy. My therapist did say that it might have something to do with it being sunny and me being oversensitive to it, but I don't think most summers are like this -- I mean, last year when I was at the Point for a week, I read an entire novel every single day I was there. All new books -- not rereads -- and mostly over 400 pages. I haven't read an entire book in weeks, just thinking about that is tiring and makes me feel even worse. At least I read comics this weekend until I couldn't anymore. I read a little bit of Kenobi today, actually -- my brother was using the computer and I had run out of lives in Candy Crush. I could barely remember what's going on since I started reading it weeks ago, but it's not that complicated, I guess.
Also went to see Finding Dory! I really liked it. It made me sad, like every single children's movie ever. Adult movies never have that effect on me, I really don't get it. Like, I'm still sad about that squirrel in Ice Age who couldn't get his acorn. STILL SAD! There was a trailer for the new Ice Age movie, which looks... kind of ridiculous... but the scene with the squirrel and the acorn made me sad because I'm still emotional. Also the beginning of Finding Nemo made me cry every time as a kid. I distinctly remember watching it in class when I was in first grade and crying so much that I had to go and colour while everyone else watched the movie. Anyway! Finding Dory was good.
( spoilers )
Also went on tumblr hiatus, since I'm going to Ontario next weekend. Kind of early to go on hiatus since it's for a week, but since I'm going to the Point at the end of the month, I want to space out the hiatuses as much as I can. Also, I need a break from tumblr, I can't deal with the Ace Discourse anymore. I swear to god, if I see another post calling cishet aces disgusting oppressors and claiming that acephobia isn't a thing and saying that "cishets are invading our safe spaces" I'm going to kill someone. It's also not great to hear that as a probably-ace person. I cannot figure out if I'm actually ace or just have massive personal issues regarding sex. I've been thinking about it all day since I had a dream related to the issue and now I'm just stressed and don't know what I'm supposed to do. I know I shouldn't be pressured to identify, but I feel so awful about it. I feel like I need to make an entire post about it, but one of my issues is that talking about it in detail would be physically painful, so I will not.
This is getting long, so quickly -- read over some older writing from the story with ghosts and reapers, got sad that I have no plot to write, and tried to write and stopped after one sentence. Also tried subscribing to more people and I'm doing it so slowly, I feel like that's weird. I just don't know the etiquette and it's sort of weird to start on a new site that I know nothing about. Anyway. I should go to bed.