bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)
From [community profile] thefridayfive

1) What was the first recipe or food you learned how to cook?
Probably like... toast. Probably. But for actual recipe? Probably this chili recipe that my family found in a children's cookbook around nine or ten years ago and we've been cooking it practically every week since then. It has five ingredients -- two pounds of roast beef, four cups of salsa (blended), a bit less than a quarter cup of chili powder, and two cans each of kidney beans and chickpeas. And then it just simmers. It's super simple and I could probably cook it in my sleep, plus it's delicious and I'll probably never stop loving it. (There's a note pinned to my fridge with a quote from me, in April 2009: "I will never say 'I hate chili'." It's been eight years and I still haven't.

2) What recipe or food did you cook most recently?
I literally just got home from a five-day camping trip last night, and probably didn't cook a single thing while I was gone (unless salad from the one group meal I did counts). I baked creme brulee (and muffins) the day before I left, though I'm not sure if that counts, since it's probably closer to baking. I think I also made bean salad that day.

3) What recipe or food do you cook most often?
Probably chili.

4) What is your favorite recipe?
There's this really good casserole with meatballs, bread, cream cheese, and pasta sauce that I really enjoy making, maybe? Also a couple of salads -- a bean salad with capers, and a chicken-curry-apple salad that I absolutely ADORE.

5) What is the recipe you make that impresses other people the most?
Well, it's my mom's recipe, but I know how to make it as well and I usually bring it for potlucks. It's a chili dip, with a layer of cream cheese on the bottom and then canned chili, salsa, cheese, etc on top, and then baked. It's always a huge hit and I've never totally understood the appeal -- though I'm a weirdo who doesn't like chunks of veggies so I always blend my salsa, so.
 
bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 I ACTUALLY GOT WRITING DONE. ON LIGHTS. IT'S BEEN MONTHS. I FINISHED EDITING CHAPTER FIVE AND TOMORROW I'M SENDING IT TO BETA AND AHHHHHHHHHHH. I'm actually feeling The Star Wars Vibe right now, and I actually want to catch up on Rebels and finish this damn story and WHAT IS THIS. GOD. My body is READY. I mean. I'm still feeling awful mentally (for Discourse Reasons) and tired all the time (for No Reason) but still. This is good. Caring about SW is good.

I also... I dunno, man. My mom got back from Seattle, Zoe came over and we talked about discourse and shipping and sexuality and all kinds of fun stuff, and I made brownie batter and also an undercooked egg/pepper/onions/bacon/cheese thing, and facetimed with my dad, and not much else.

bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)

 Nothing happened today, which is A Problem because school tomorrow and I need to do things. I was going to bake but my mom didn't go the grocery store until 8 at night and then she forgot my ingredients (since I ALSO asked for salad ingredients and it was just too much I guess) and I just. died

Actually today was kind of scary, mental-health wise. I couldn't do... anything. I was lying on my bed refreshing social media bc the idea of reading made my skin crawl and I was just... doing that. I also can't use headphones for some reason?? It just makes me feel twitchy rn so I'm not listening to anything rn. I was listening to this on repeat earlier though. I still need to watch a movie for school. And I haven't washed my hair in a week. And I'm dying but whatever it's cool it's all fine. Oh and my "sort of callout post" (not the actual callout but a post that's apparently... proof of me being an Evil Pedophile Apologist) is getting more notes and someone sent me a message saying that I support children being molested so that was awful and disgusting. And my dad called me to bitch about how people can't incite violence on college campuses and how "free speech" (however he means that) is more important than making sure bigots can't spread their opinions. And I'm just.... tired. I don't want to go to school tomorrow but also if I don't I'll just lay around doing nothing and my brain will be screaming and I'll be dead.

busy busy

Jan. 23rd, 2017 03:02 pm
bluegansey: padme amidala on a blue background (padme amidala blue)
It’s almost one and I am… not tired in the slightest. Not sure why. Shit kinda got real today with the school thing. My mom was going over the packing list and while I found it kinda hilarious that a knife is part of the required materials (my dad dug out this knife of my brother’s that I used to play with all the time and I’m doing that again. It’s so fun to flip open and shut) I sorta started to realize that oh fuck, this is happening. In a week. Ohgodohgodohgod. It’s mildly terrifying.

Because of this of course I was stressed as hell all day and I ended up baking Christmas crack again and almost had a breakdown because I couldn’t get the sugar and butter to mix properly. And I managed to convince my mom to buy me gum despite having a complete ban on chew it — I just. Needed it so badly because I need to chew something and right now it’s the skin around my nails and it fucking hurts a lot. I miss gum so much. I want to find some sort of fidget toy to fill the void, but I’m not really hopeful. Also the grocery store didn’t have pomegranates but I managed to get bread. And underripe mangoes.

 

THIS GOT LONG )
bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

*throws up peace sign* today was SO GOOD on the writing front, y’all. SO GOOD. It’s been weeks since I’ve written basically anything and this morning I sat down and wrote 1.2k of a new novel idea. It has ghosts and cute queer romance with a happy ending. I’m so happy, y’all. And then — AND THEN — I worked on my school application. Wrote a biography for myself, and THEN I wrote a THREE POINT FOUR K ESSAY ABOUT ANTI-SHIPPING. I’m shook, y’all. I’m shook. And how did I say "y'all" three times in this paragraph? I have no idea.

I just had to write about a learning experience, and THIS HAPPENED. Holy fuck. The glossary section is almost 1k on its own. This essay is a monster. I am shook. Also I keep wanting to swear because I had to keep my language clean for the essay (or, well, no one said I had to but this is a school application so I’m erring on the side of caution) and I just finished writing and and yeah. I'll edit it tomorrow (today) and hopefully my mom will have the address I'm supposed to send it to.

Other things… other things. I watched Justice League vs Teen Titans — a Good Movie, imho. Still love Damian… love him a lot… love him. And I like Kori a little more than I did before, even if I still pretty much hate Dickkori… yeah. Sorry. I just can’t get behind it. Also was it my imagination or was the movie trying to push a romance between Raven and Damian? For the love of god, let them be friends and let Damian date Beast Boy. Seriously. Also I think I officially hate SuperWonder now and I don’t know why I suddenly hate het ships. When did this happen. I don’t even know.

I also made butterscotch pudding from a recipe online and it was good. And helped my mom make meatballs for dinner, and read a very interesting article about the killing of zoo animals in Denmark (the article has some fairly graphic images of dead and dissected animals, btw). And didn’t do much else? Yeah.

bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)

 Actually writing this on time and earlier than usually, because Scrivener (where I usually do entries) keeps crashing and I need to restart my computer to see if that'll fix it. So my mom gave me Permission to write this now and then log out, watching a movie on the TV after. Or part of a movie -- we're all going to see Rogue One tomorrow, in the early afternoon, so I shouldn't stay up overly late.

I had a pretty decent day tbh? I tried to get through my backlog of emails (still from when I goddamn went offline for five days in the beginning of the month, jesus christ) and then planned to take transit to the mall for lunch, but my mom had to go there anyway (to exchange my christmas gift -- a hat, it didn't fit, how could a hat not fit? -- and to return something to Old Navy) so she drove me and we also got a gift for a Secret Santa exchange for the last day of the panto. It's not really a Secret Santa -- it's where you put in a gift and everyone takes one and you can steal other people's -- and I got a pretty pen with a constellation on it and a chocolate bar, both from Indigo. I got Greek for dinner and my mom got teriyaki chicken. And then she took me out for ice cream and asked me about the cuts she saw on my arm. I'm glad she did but it was pretty painful to talk about. Anyway I got cheesecake ice cream with Skor pieces and M&Ms.

After that I cut up and started eating a whole pomegranate -- well, two, I started one and it was bad so I threw it out and used the other one -- and ordered the Love Is Love DC Anthology from Amazon. Plus Princess Leia and Kanan: The Last Padawan so I could get free shipping... I spent $50 on comics and I don't regret a single thing. I could not find a decent comic shop anywhere near me, so that was irritating. Then as I was about to do this Tumblr Thingy, my dad came in and told me to get off the computer -- or, well, here's what happened. I'm still both confused and annoyed. Anyway. Also, uh, I think someone I'm mutuals with is vagueing about me and trying to build up the courage to talk to me. Like, I don't want to be self-centred, but I'm about 90% sure they're talking about me because they made two posts yesterday, one of which directly quoted something I'd said in tags earlier, and then today they said something about being nervous trying to message someone and said "#@********* this is about you" and... that's the same number of stars as letters in my URL. So I don't know. I kinda want to message them and say they shouldn't be nervous but also like... if they're not talking about me I could be making an idiot of myself. So idk. I'll see.

bluegansey: leia organa holding blaster and looking determined on a red background (leia organa red)

Today was basically flip-flopping between sadness and inescapable anxiety. Hearing about Carrie Fisher’s death was really painful, because she’s become an icon to me in the last year, and this was so soon after what seemed like a near-miss — they said she was in stable condition, so it seemed like she was the one to defy this hell year. Except, no. 2016 can fuck right off. And 2017 has the potential to be much, much worse with President Trump. I’m not goddamn ready.

On… other things… I woke up this morning to two messages regarding my sideblog — well, sort of, one was “is [redacted] your sideblog” from tumblr user sionis, and the other was “omg you found my problematic ships sideblog” from tumblr user finndamerons (prev. benafflecksgf). I spent most of the day procrastinating messaging back, and when I finally did there was a bit of talking! Which is Good. Also, random side note, but both of them used my first name in their initial messages. It was weird, I’m never used to people saying or writing my name. Sometimes I forget my own name, too… anyway. I recced a fic series that made me BELIEVE IN LOVE to sionis, and finndamerons and I just sorta talked. And it was good.

tw: self harm mention )

Also just now wrote 1,942 words of a Bad Ship soulmate concept that I mentioned a while ago. It only has one scene left, I think, but I’m not going to write it now, I need to sleep since my mom already got up once and I don’t want to see another parent right now.

bluegansey: allison argent laughing and smiling with a pink background (allison argent pink)

 Also a pretty good day, despite being a little stressful! I'm glad.

My parents had a very small Christmas party tonight, and I had panto, so I was away for most of it. The cleaning was stressful, because my mom gets stressed and then angry while cleaning, but it went pretty much smoothly. I helped make this chili dip recipe we always use, and she made jelly meatballs that I don't like because it has chili sauce and I know it's not ketchup but it smells like ketchup so I can't eat it without feeling sick. Panto went pretty well, actually, though it was different -- the person who calls cues, who used to spend the duration of the show at a standing desk next to the fly rail, moved to the front of house, so I had to actually respond over headset when she gave me my cues. It went better than I expected, and didn't end up being super stressful -- the Assistant Stage Manager (ASM) was also on headset for a lot of it, so that took some of the stress out of it. And the show went smoothly, except for the ASM leaving on some backstage lights for a while after intermission and also one of the actors knocking a tree into a wall. And at the end, the director of the show brought the crew onstage to describe our jobs and stuff. Which was surprisingly okay and made me glad I wore my black-and-white cat sweater instead of the black hoodie I've usually been wearing.

By the time I got home, the party was mostly winding down, so I just took some cookies and eggnog (christ, that's most of what I ate today... I am just Not Hungry? I ate like one proper meal total) into the living room and continued reading this Bluepulse fic. It's really good so far, with some great emotional gut-punch moments. I started reading it at the panto, and I'm still reading it. Can't wait to see how it ends. I also read another cute fic just now that I can't link, but it was sweet Christmas fluff and I'm so happy about it. It made me smile so much. Also random side note but two different people asked me what I was reading on my kobo. The first one -- another crew at the panto, Alyssa -- asked what book it was, and I said it wasn't a book and then went oh shit and said that it was for school. And she pointed out that it was winter break and I forced a laugh and said that I'm online schooled. Which is not a lie, just very misleading. And then it was someone at the party, my neighbour, and she didn't ask for specifics, so I just said "A book" and she was all "ah, Nicola the Avid Reader. You've probably read that like three times already, right?" and I forced a laugh again. Ahaha.

And the Carrie Fisher thing. All I can say is that I really, really hope she's okay. 2016, you've already taken so much. Please.
 

bluegansey: peggy carter holding captain america's shield on a blue background (peggy carter blue)
I really don’t want to talk, so I’ll be really quick about this. Baking in the afternoon: shortbread cookies and gingerbread cookies. Panto, on flies; my mom, brother, aunt, uncle, and cousins were there. It went okay, with some minor weird bits (the demon forgot his lines, twice; the bear kicked a tree into a wall during a dance). Reading this fic, a Young Justice Jayroy fic — it’s pretty good so far, and I was reading it during the panto.
bluegansey: close-up of ahsoka tano looking down and to the left (ahsoka tano gray)

 Overall a pretty decent day, I think?

Matinee for panto today, and the first one I've done where I haven't been doing the flies. It was significantly more relaxing. I read a 20k fic and almost finished a way longer fic (finished it later at home) before Maria (regular flies person) asked if I could do the flies for the second half of the last act so she could leave early. I did, and it was fine. And it was pretty good.

My mom is sick, so dinner was a little bit of a disaster, but pretty good -- frittata and salad and I need to eat frittatas more, apparently I like them. And she said the wifi would be off at 11, but she went to bed at ten because she's sick and so :) I'm still on here. Small excuse: I'm trying to get through my backlog of fic update emails. During this Process, I read a handful of other fics in various tags, all unlinkable, and found a new squick! The opposite of good! Tbh, it's not a weird thing to be squicked by -- like, at all, honestly the idea of liking it is more than a little disturbing to me -- but it's been a while since I found a new one.

Ugh, this entry is a mess...? Anyway. I'm just gonna go to bed.

bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)

So for some reason I decided to bake after my mom went to bed? I made brownies. I put them away and washed everything. It’s drying now and I’ll put it away before I go to bed. I kinda wanna see whether she notices that I made brownies or not. I also reread a fic — the last fic in a fic series that made me BELIEVE IN LOVE. It’s just so beautiful and pure and cavity-inducing fluff. I cry.

A few other fics were read, as well, but not as many as the rest of this week because my body seems to be falling apart around me. I got this agonizing sharp pain in my abdomen, like a period cramp but I’m not on my period. (When I told my mom, she asked if I was pregnant. I’m definitely not pregnant unless I’m the fucking Virgin Mary reborn. Which she knows. God.) And then I laid in bed and watched two whole episodes of Supergirl, in my underwear and bra because clothes were irritating me, and now I’m four episodes in! I cannot binge watch. It’s an attention thing. But when you’re in so much pain that lying down is the only viable option, it’s surprisingly easy to pay attention. Anyway, after that I had dinner and got sick halfway through and couldn’t finish it. Which was just… great. But yeah. I had a bowl of brownie batter; it wasn’t as sweet as that fic I was reading, but it was pretty damn nice.

I also did Writing Things? Sent chapter 4 of Lights to beta. Idk how long it’ll be, but soon. Soon. I can finally publish it. And maybe stop feeling so goddamn guilty all the goddamn time. That would be… nice. Also I had an Anxiety thing for two reasons: someone whose content I’ve reblogged was outed as an abuser and anti-self-dx person, and a bunch of people basically… shunned her, and it was really kind of scary and anxiety-inducing because I followed a lot of people involved in it. I didn’t follow her, but… it was terrifying, almost. And then I saw that someone I follow — someone who I’ve seen involved in anti-anti stuff, who follows my discourse blog AND my problematic ship blog — reblogged a post from an anti blog that causes me unspeakable anxiety. I think it’s probably just that she followed them a while ago and didn’t realize what side of the Discourse they were on, but… that blog has so much incredibly self-righteous smugness and bullshit (such as “you can’t ship this CANON ship because it’s bad in some continuities” and “you’re an Unsafe Blog if you ship literally the most popular ship in the entire fandom”, and all of this linked from their damn description and sidebar, so anyone who goes on the blog will see it) that it made me have an anxiety attack last time I saw it, and. Yeah. I feel awful about it, but I’m trying not to think about it. God, I shouldn’t have written about this; I was in such a good mood. Oh well, I’ll do dishes and go to bed and try not to think about it some more.

bluegansey: clara oswald looking at the sky in wonder (clara oswald black)
Well, I was reading A Death In The Family, and just as Jason died, the song Haunt by Bastille came up on shuffle. Timing. I read a few other comics today, actually — The Cult, first, then A Death In The Family, and then I started reading Red Hood: The Lost Days but I think the version I downloaded is incomplete and since I don’t have wifi I can’t check, so I’m stopping for now. It’s nice to get back to reading comics; fic is good but I’m not really in the mood. Also I can't find anything I want to read and I don't feel like rereading.
 
Basically I did nothing today? Uh. I thought I had a call with my teacher, but it’s a stat holiday, so I didn’t. I walked Callie, and she kept running into the road for no reason; I feel like it’s personal, for some reason. I read some fics, just various… things… and make pesto/turkey/spinach quesadillas for dinner. And I also baked a cake and didn’t eat that much of it. I didn’t really want cake, I think.

My mom and brother were watching The Office (US) and I watched some of it with them — the second half of the first episode and the full second episode. It’s a pretty good show, I guess, even if it uses more cringe comedy than I’d personally prefer. My dad went away for work again and he’s back in Hamilton, Ontario. And I got my period and feel vaguely Weird and Bad, so that’s… fun.
bluegansey: amy pond holding a book with a yellow background (amy pond yellow)
 Pretty much, like, nothing happened today. Except reading fic and watching TV and cooking.

I reread some fic because all I'm doing right now is reading (mostly DC, all DC today) fic. This Jaytim fic, all the extras (not-long ones, except the last one because it's incomplete and I didn't feel like it) in this series, this dance AU (part 2 of a series, and I'm slightly confused as to why it's a series of separate works as opposed to one long fic, but whatever), this Jaydick/Dinahbabs royalty AU, and this fake-dating series (which I love SO MUCH, it's hilarious, I'm still not over it). Uh. Lots of rereading, it seems.

I started watching The Fosters (since I was reading a The Fosters AU yesterday or whenever and it was just So Damn Good) and got three episodes in. It’s good so far, I think. I really like Jesus and Callie. I also watched some Arrested Development (since my dad is home for like one night and it’s a Family Activity) and the new Rebels episode! (I livetweeted it here.) Also I read more of Watchmen — I’m almost finished it, I’ll probably be done soon. Or not. Sometimes I get really close to the end of something and then just. Don’t finish it. There’s this really long HP fic I’ve been reading for two weeks or so and I’ve been at two chapters from the end for most of that.

Also cooking. Baked some pumpkin muffins, got into an argument with my mom about baking and cleaning and various things, and then made a meatball sub casserole for dinner by myself. Well, Danny helped me, but he didn’t… do much. Not really. And yeah I had a really boring day apparently? Whoops, okay.

And damn, after writing this I decided to go and write and ended up with 1.8k of fic. It’s for Snaibsel week day 3: Hunter/Witch. And I’m actually sorta happy with it? I love it so far, though that may be just my exhaustion talking.

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bluegansey: wonder woman with a hood over her head holding her lasso (Default)
Nicola

July 2017

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