Every time I think I’m actually going to work on my WIP, I get thrown off by something. Now it’s “so am I completely bastardizing canon with these trippy Force mind links” and I need to work on it when I’m not tired. Also I have so many things I need to rewatch for research? Rebels episodes — Call To Action (or whichever one ends with Kanan being captured, I don’t remember for sure) for action scene reference and A Princess On Lothal for era-appropriate Leia reference — and like. Possibly a few TCW episodes with Padme and Obi-Wan and Luminara and Ahsoka because I haven’t watched it in while and I need to remember their voices and also check their characterization. Really this is all because someone messaged me to continue the story. Which, I mean, it’s nice and all, but what would have been slightly nicer is if one person left a comment on the last chapter? There was one comment, but it wasn’t a real comment, and — ugh. It just Feels Bad. Like, if you want a story to update, maybe… I don’t know… make the author think you care if it updates? Because I was sort of thinking no one cared and I sorta still do even though I have concrete evidence otherwise.
Uh, anyway. I went to the naturopath again today and… yeah. I don’t know. She suggested hypnotheraphy and like, at this point, if it’ll help with my anxiety, I’ll try it. My mom also had a dentist’s appointment in the area so after we got pizza for lunch we went there and I waited (and there was a baby there. It was adorable) and after while she was paying the receptionist complimented my hair, which was nice. And then we went to the States and I had a minor breakdown about not being able to eat gum anymore. I am so close to ignoring the fact that I’m being slowly poisoned by aspartame and just. Buying more gum and chewing the whole pack before I get home. But that would be a really bad idea because I’d just crave it more. And… yeah. Also Shannon was there and he had a really nice shirt with horses on it. It was cool.
And then my back was killing me so I ended up just lying in bed with a heating pad and rereading a bunch of fics. I was sort of in a Batlantern phase (with these two) but I sorta just read whatever I could find in my bookmarks that looked fun to reread. And just before I did this entry I finished a reread of a fic that I started in October and finished adding notes. I think I got fairly creative with insults — like, I’m realizing that 90% of my internal dialogue is insults that I don’t mean and would never say to an actual person but this gives me an outlet and damn if it isn’t nice as hell. I feel so Good and I probably shouldn’t but still, it’s fun to get creative with insults. (The main reason I was adding insults is because it's about something Obviously Bad in real life and even if I enjoy reading it I still want to drag the main character because. Damn. That's so horrible.) And also because this is getting long: had a “family meeting” which dissolved into so much giggling and also I kept asking for a new kitten because my brother’s friend has a pregnant cat and damn I want a kitten. I know I already have a cat but more than one cat is better than one cat in pretty much every circumstance. Seriously.